Say you broke the bank at Monte Carlo? Played baccarat with James Bond in London, or bluffed rounder Doyle Brunson at Binion's Horseshoe in Vegas? Hit the riverboats in Biloxi before Katrina blew them away, and frequented the tables in Macao for endless nights of pai gow? Impressive. But have you tried your luck at Casino Phoenix, player? We're a megalopolis of gamblers, risk-takers and hustlers. Most of us have come here from somewhere else to spin that big, red-and-black roulette wheel and take our place in the winner's circle, to make our fortunes, build our empires and carve our names in monuments before the game of life is over.

All the action your sweet ass can handle, that's what you'll find in the PHX. After all, we're a class joint, like the Vegas Casino in Martin Scorsese's epic, or the tux-only betting parlors of the French Riviera in Neil Jordan's The Good Thief. Everything you want is here. Every vice and vixen. The flyest clubs with the finest in femmedom. Boutique hotels with all the sins on speed-dial. The most superb eateries, whether large or small. And a buffet of goods and services that takes up some 2,000 square miles. It's the perfect place to spend your winnings, or parlay them into a bankroll fat enough to choke a racehorse. Just ask the players we've profiled -- high rollers like club guru Steven Rogers or Power 92.3 FM's JX3. They'll tell you Phoenix is where real gamblers let it ride.

Listen, we don't care if you're Johnny Chan with a World Series of Poker bracelet for every day of the week, and then some. If you wanna win in Casino Phoenix, you're gonna need a system, a guide to the lay of the place, a map leading you straight to where the loot is stored. Sure, you could roll the bones until you throw a natural 7 or 11, but why don't you let us load the dice for you, pallie? We've done all the hard work, dined at every restaurant, sipped every mojito, partied at every club, and, yes, gone all in at every poker table in town. We know where the margaritas are best -- whether you like 'em frozen, on the rocks, or with a shot of prickly pear -- and we can tell you the best place to double down, find a sugar daddy or pick up a desperate housewife. And at the end of our run, we'll split the pot, 50-50. Deal? Now get your chips, busta, and let's go.